Is my child gifted? That is a question many parents ask of themselves, and their child’s teacher. For some, it is a grey area, because how do you best define giftedness? Is it purely intelligence? Does it have to do with the environment the child is raised in? It can be subjective. It can be frustrating. Gifted kids can be overlooked because they don’t have advocates, or there just aren’t the resources to help them. And your intelligent child might be just that – intelligent and not a genius. I don’t know. I don’t know your child. But if you are unsure and want to know if you have gifted kids, get them tested. 

WHAT IS GIFTEDNESS?

The definition of giftedness is when the ability of children is significantly above the norm for their age. The key term there is “significantly above”. Now, it may show in more than one area. A gifted child does not need to be all-around gifted. It could be in intellect, in the creative, being artistic, in leadership or in a specific academic area such as language arts (Engish), mathematics or science. It is about high performance and needing extra opportunities above their peer group. Giftedness can be nurtured and developed when recognized and allowed to flourish. It is often defined as an intellectual ability linked to an IQ score over 130, but that really isn’t a true indicator due to the fact that not all gifted children excel in an academic area.

IS MY CHILD GIFTED?

This really is what so many parents want to know. It is often easier to see learning disabilities or weaknesses than it is giftedness. How do we know if our child is gifted? And it is totally ok if they are not? However, I sometimes think it would be easier if my children don’t end up being gifted or having any giftedness in them (though I wouldn’t complain honestly) as there are limited resources in helping them to flourish, especially if it is in one academic area.

We tend to just keep school in age groupings, not in abilities. So, you could have a child that is in 3rd grade and does really well but is gifted in math and is operating at an 8th-grade level. There are usually no possibilities for your child to do 8th-grade math. Homeschool would be the best option for your child so they can thrive in math, but not everyone is cut out for homeschooling, and it might not work with needing to work, etc. 

I will always say if you are unsure as to your child’s ability, then get them tested, as you can go cross-eyed looking at lists and trying to determine for yourself. Though, that being said, let’s look at some of the signs of a gifted child. 

CHARACTERISTICS OF GIFTED KIDS

Gifted children do not have a preset list of characteristics. And they don’t show all of them all of the time. However, there are some common signs of a gifted child. There are some common characteristics of gifted children. These aren’t in any order, and the list certainly isn’t complete. Here are a few signs or characteristics you can look for:

• Excellent memory
• Very alert as an infant (and this continues as they grow up)
• Will often self-teach reading as a preschooler
• Asks very intense and astute questions (and a lot of them!)
• Advanced comprehension, especially of nuance and abstract ideas
• Intense feelings and strong reactions
• Daydreamer
• Fantastic imagination (and often has an invisible friend)
• Intense curiosity
• Likes to experiment and tries to do things differently
• Will learn basic skills quickly and often without much practice (probably observes and then does)
• Very large and complex vocabulary at a young age
• Unusual sense of humor
• Original ideas

GIFTED AND TALENTED TEST

Yes, there are tests for gifted and talented kids. You can have them done through the school system or with a child psychologist. They cover a number of different facets that are not normally covered in the standardized tests given at school – things like intelligence scales, cognitive abilities, verbal and nonverbal reasoning. Yes, you can prepare for these tests (there are even services that will help your child prepare), but to me it sort of defeats the purpose of knowing whether or not your child is gifted. Gifted testing should be looking specifically for where they shine and the results should be how we can best support our children in those areas. Please don’t feel that your child’s future is totally reliant on these tests. Because your child is still who they are. Don’t let results steer their education in a direction you don’t want it to go. 

Here are some links to different tests that you can do. Testing Mom has pretty much got them all. Don’t let the list scare you. That just means there are lots of options. 

SMART KIDS/BRIGHT CHILD

This is where things can get a little confusing. We often mix up the terms gifted, smart, bright and genius. They are all a little different and have different ramifications with our children and their education. 

Here are a few comparisons of bright children vs gifted:

• Bright children do well at school and usually aim to do well at school and put in the work necessary. Gifted children usually will just do well without effort.
• Bright children will learn in sequence and correct order. Gifted children can have gaps in some areas while excelling in others.
• Bright children get on with their peers. Gifted children can often feel uncomfortable with children their own age and can seek to spend time with older children or adults.
• Bright children can complete a task and move on, often to something more “fun”. Gifted children can become completely engrossed in what they are doing and find it hard to break out of that concentration.
• Bright children will do well in school and want to be there. Gifted children often seek to learn independently. 

Both sets of children are advanced, but gifted children will often stand out for not being with social norms.

GENIUS KIDS

So where do genius kids fit into this? Genius is extremely smart, high IQ and really just the smartest person you will meet. Gifted is an ability, a talent, an area of their life that might not be academic. That is not saying they are not smart. Absolutely, people of genius can be gifted, and vice versa. 

Again, we often mix up what these terms mean because when I look at signs of genius, I am not sure where the science is, except for high IQ. Don’t we all want to think of ourselves as a genius? I know, in looking at several of the lists, I could be! Except I don’t have blue eyes, and I think that my craving for chocolate is more sugar-based.

This is part of a list I found. It is rather interesting:

• Being lazy
• A night owl
• Being shy or less social
• Talking to yourself
• Craving for chocolate
• Addictions
• Being messy
• Empathy

BLESSING OR A CURSE

Is giftedness a blessing or a curse? For sure we see that a lot more expectation is put on gifted kids to perform well and be exceptional. Often, because of this greater pressure and expectation, gifted children can be insecure and doubt their own abilities to their detriment. High performance expectations can lead to a heightened sense of fear and can also contribute to the child not wanting to put in the work. The fear can cripple the ability. 

We need to support gifted kids as best we can. It is great that we have gifted and talented programs at schools, but when we limit school to certain ages for each grade, for instance, we can stop a gifted child from working at their potential, especially if they become bored because they need more advanced work. If your child’s gifted ability is not academic, it could mean more opportunities to develop that area with lessons and personal development. 

Giftedness is only a curse when so much pressure is put on the child (or adult) without strong loving support. Let’s look at Mozart and Stevie Wonder. Both were child prodigies. Mozart was pushed forward to perform time and time again, to compose, to go beyond people’s expectations time and time again. His giftedness became a curse and drove him a little insane and helped lead to his death at a young age. Stevie Wonder was encouraged to perform, and with the loving support he had, he has run a wonderfully long career in music. His giftedness was a blessing, largely because of those who believed in him and supported, rather than exploiting him. 

LET’S SUPPORT

We need to support gifted kids socially, academically and emotionally. Let’s provide opportunities to shine without a huge heap of “You’re gifted so you’ve got to do well” guilt. Above all, our gifted children need to enjoy their gift and ability, not resent it.