My homeschool regrets

Don’t you just wish that you could go through life without regrets? I know I do. I have them in a number of areas of my life….and homeschool is one of them. Maybe you don’t have any regrets, and if that is the case, that is wonderful! That is awesome for you! But I live with several that I wish I could undo.

I don’t regret homeschooling at all. That really was my easiest decision. It is something I hope we can continue through my girls’ entire “school” journey. But there are things I have said or done that sometimes make me stop in my tracks and then regret I ever did or said such things. 

So, these are my regrets, in no particular order. Some of them feel a little embarrassing to say but I will do it. Because we are on this journey together and it can help to hear that someone else might feel the same as you.

Pushing my expectations

I didn’t really mean to push my expectations, it just sort of came out. I am a driven person and I don’t like to think I have failed in anything. So I pushed my expectations on the girls so that it wouldn’t look like I had failed in their education. It certainly didn’t help and it caused some tension between me and the girls. I don’t like that. Tension, hurt feelings, frustrations were not something I wanted for them. 

shot of a mother pointing at child in frustration

Threatening with school

This is not my finest moment at all and probably one of my biggest regrets. I have been known to threaten my children with enrolling them in public school. One time was a legitimate “You need to work out what you want within the next 2 weeks or I will enroll you” and that opened up dialogue and a chance to change behaviors. But the others have been when I was stressed and done with behaviors and attitudes and it has snapped right out of me. This is something I have had to change, because there might be a day when we do need to enroll them (though I hope not) and I don’t want them to think of it as punishment. 

Being a working homeschool mom

Yes, I have this vlog and blog, and I parent coach, but honestly I don’t view it as work (though in my heart I know it is because it does take time). I have had a part time job all the years we have homeschooled. Some of that was to assist in supporting my family financially, and some of that was to help out while they were waiting for my replacement.

I do regret that there have been many times that the stress of work has taken my energy, my time and my focus away from my girls. I regret that I have allowed the stress of work to impact my family. (Honestly, I don’t do too well with stress and it can cause migraines or a “rather cranky mummy”.) If I could do it over again I wouldn’t be working that part time job (not that I didn’t like it, I really did for the most part, even when we needed the income). 

Wanting my girls to be more like me

I love to read. Scratch that, I ADORE reading and it has been, and continues to be, such a big part of my life. My girls are not that enamored with it. They don’t understand my heart cry of “there are so many great books out there you can read” and “you never can be bored with a book”. I also love to learn.

Being at a time in life when there is easy access to libraries and all the good stuff on the internet, I can so easily get lost in learning new things. They aren’t quite there yet in that regard. They do like learning, but aren’t convinced that it is as amazing as I make it out to be. I guess I had a dream of little, passionate readers and that has been a bit of a bust. But they are them in all their glory and it is fine they aren’t more like me (most of the time)…..though I still dream of reading parties and Best Family Book Clubs.

mother playing on trampoline with two little girls

Letting voices confuse me

For all my confidence in homeschooling and knowing we are doing the right thing by our girls in the way that we homeschool, I still get little voices confusing me. This is why it is so important to know why you are homeschooling. I have to turn back to the why statement that my husband and I wrote to remind me and help to firm up my foundation again. Some of those voices are from family, some are from friends, some are from people who don’t understand why we homeschool the way we do (relaxed eclectic and very much skills based learning), and some are from comparing to what others, whom I don’t even know, are doing as per what they share on the internet. 

All of these are challenges to me, but I can learn from those regrets to make things better.  I hope that one day it will be easier to stop letting the voices confuse me, or to stop expecting the girls to be more like me in learning. But as long as I never regret homeschooling, or that the girls regret being homeschooled, I will be happy. I will continue to keep learning, keep listening to the girls’ interests, and keep encouraging them to learn in a way that best suits them. They will grow into women who can communicate, be creative, can critically think and work well with others…..all while being able to read, write and do math. What more can I ask for?

Check out these other homeschool posts:
What I wish I knew before homeschooling
Homeschooling, Unschooling and Worldschooling – what’s the difference?

Want to learn how to homeschool and maybe not end up with regrets? Why not join my How to Homeschool Masterclass?


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